lamalo

Animal comparisons nobody asked for

by someone who loves to compare irrelevant things

Tag

#venomous

5 matchups tagged venomous.

A mature male tufted deer (Elaphodus cephalophus) standing in profile, showing its dark forehead tuft and small fang-like upper canine tusks protruding below the lip.Shell of a geography cone snail (Conus geographus) showing the cylindrically inflated shell with a mottled chestnut-and-cream reticulated pattern.A pink and white orchid mantis (Hymenopus coronatus) perched on an orchid flower, its petal-shaped legs blending in with the blossom.A pale pinkish-white olm (Proteus anguinus) salamander underwater, showing its long eel-like body, tiny limbs, and feathery red external gills near its head.

Tufted Deer vs Geographer Cone Snail vs Orchid Mantis vs Olm: A Vegetarian With Vampire Fangs, a Snail That Poisons Fish With Insulin, a Bug That Out-Flowers Flowers, and a Blind Baby Dragon That Sat Still for 7 Years

A mammal, a mollusk, an insect, and an amphibian walk into a bar. Only one of them has a plan. Spoiler: it involves weaponized insulin.

4 weeks ago · 6 min

A wild platypus swimming in a creek in TasmaniaA Galapagos marine iguana resting on volcanic rock on Espanola IslandA northern stargazer fish specimen with its eyes and upturned mouth on the top of its blunt headA live frilled shark swimming in the deep sea, showing its long eel-like bodyClose-up of a southern cassowary's grey scaly feet showing the long dagger-like inner-toe claws

Weekend Special - Champion of the Week

Champion of the Week: A Milk-Sweating Duck-Mole That Glows, a Salt-Sneezing Sea Lizard, a Fish With Its Face on the Roof, a 300-Toothed Dino Eel, and a Bird That Kicks Like a Velociraptor

Five weekday winners, one crown, zero chill. The champions of the week face off to decide who is the coolest, weirdest, and grossest of them all.

4 weeks ago · 7 min

A wild platypus swimming in a shallow creek in Tasmania, its brown fur wet and its dark duck-like bill visible at the water surface.A common cuttlefish hovering over the seabed in Arrabida Natural Park, Portugal, its fin fringe rippling along the mantle.A live Mystrium Dracula ant, a brick-red and brown worker, photographed in Danum Valley, Sabah, Malaysia.A leafy sea dragon drifting near the seafloor, its body covered in leaf-shaped appendages that mimic seaweed.

Platypus vs Common Cuttlefish vs Dracula Ant vs Leafy Sea Dragon: A Venomous Mammal That Glows and Has No Stomach, a Colorblind Genius With Three Hearts, an Ant That Drinks Its Kids' Blood at 200 MPH, and a Fish Cosplaying as Salad

Four animals that share exactly nothing except that evolution clearly filed each one under 'sure, why not.' We judge them on cool, weird, and gross, then crown one.

4 weeks ago · 6 min

A northern stargazer fish showing its eyes and mouth positioned on the top of its headAn American giant water bug, a large flat brown aquatic true bug with grasping forelegsThe kakapo named Sirocco, a large mossy-green flightless parrot, among white liliesAn Etruscan shrew, a tiny grey-brown shrew, resting on a human hand for scale

Northern Stargazer vs Giant Water Bug vs Kakapo vs Etruscan Shrew: A Fish With Its Face on the Ceiling, a Bug That Drinks You Through a Straw, a Parrot That Forgot How to Fly, and a Mammal That Starves in Four Hours

One buried fish, one insect with a taste for smoothies, one chunky flightless parrot, and the smallest mammal alive. Absolutely nothing in common. Let's rank them anyway.

5 weeks ago · 6 min

A Hispaniolan solenodon, a brown shrew-like mammal with a long flexible snout and small eyesA barreleye fish specimen collected from the deep sea, dome not intactA large glossy black Lord Howe Island stick insect specimen

Hispaniolan Solenodon vs Barreleye vs Lord Howe Tree Lobster: A Venomous Fossil That Smells Like a Goat, a Fish With a See-Through Skull, and a Bug That Came Back From the Dead

A mammal older than the last dinosaurs, a fish that looks up through its own transparent forehead, and the rarest insect on Earth walk into a bar. One leaves with a crown.

6 weeks ago · 5 min