lamalo

Animal comparisons nobody asked for

by someone who loves to compare irrelevant things

Tag

#Amphibia

6 matchups tagged Amphibia.

A small pinkish-white spotted handfish resting on the sandy seabed, propped upright on its splayed hand-like pectoral fins, its body covered in orange-brown spots.A large tarantula hawk wasp with a glossy blue-black body and rust-orange wings, perched on a plant.A Eurasian hoopoe standing on sandy ground, showing its cinnamon-brown body, long thin downcurved black bill, and folded black-and-white barred wings.A pale pinkish-white albino axolotl resting on gravel underwater, showing its wide flat head, upturned smiling mouth, and feathery red external gills fanning out behind its head.

Spotted Handfish vs Tarantula Hawk vs Eurasian Hoopoe vs Axolotl: A Fish That Walks on Its Hands, a Wasp That Feeds Your Living Body to Its Kid, a Bird That Wears Rotting-Meat Perfume, and a Salamander That Regrows Its Own Brain

Four animals with nothing in common except that they all made me say 'wait, WHAT' out loud in a quiet room.

9 weeks ago · 5 min

A mature male tufted deer (Elaphodus cephalophus) standing in profile, showing its dark forehead tuft and small fang-like upper canine tusks protruding below the lip.Shell of a geography cone snail (Conus geographus) showing the cylindrically inflated shell with a mottled chestnut-and-cream reticulated pattern.A pink and white orchid mantis (Hymenopus coronatus) perched on an orchid flower, its petal-shaped legs blending in with the blossom.A pale pinkish-white olm (Proteus anguinus) salamander underwater, showing its long eel-like body, tiny limbs, and feathery red external gills near its head.

Tufted Deer vs Geographer Cone Snail vs Orchid Mantis vs Olm: A Vegetarian With Vampire Fangs, a Snail That Poisons Fish With Insulin, a Bug That Out-Flowers Flowers, and a Blind Baby Dragon That Sat Still for 7 Years

A mammal, a mollusk, an insect, and an amphibian walk into a bar. Only one of them has a plan. Spoiler: it involves weaponized insulin.

9 weeks ago · 6 min

A plump, dark purplish-grey Indian purple frog with a tiny head and pointed snout sitting on wet ground.Close-up looking into the open mouth of an Atlantic wolffish, showing its fang-like front teeth and rows of blunt crushing teeth.A black marine iguana basking on lava rock in the Galapagos Islands.A dense pile of pale, hairy Kiwa yeti crabs swarming a deep-sea hydrothermal vent chimney on the Antarctic seafloor.

Purple Frog vs Atlantic Wolffish vs Marine Iguana vs Hoff Crab: A Purple Water Balloon That Lives Underground, a Fish With Three Kinds of Teeth, a Lizard That Sneezes Salt and Shrinks Its Own Skeleton, and a Blind Crab Named After Hasselhoff's Chest

Four animals from four different classes, zero good decisions between them. We rank them on cool, weird, and gross, and somebody has to win.

9 weeks ago · 6 min

A hairy frog, Trichobatrachus robustus, showing the hair-like dermal filaments along its flankA sea lamprey, Petromyzon marinus, showing its long eel-like body and round jawless sucker mouthOsedax japonicus bone-eating worms on display at Enoshima Aquarium, showing red feathery plumes

Hairy Frog vs Sea Lamprey vs Osedax Zombie Worm: A Frog That Grows Wolverine Claws From Its Own Snapped Bones, a Jawless Mouth-Ring That Drinks You, and a Worm With No Mouth That Eats Skeletons

Three creatures that all read the body-horror handbook and highlighted different chapters. A frog, a jawless not-quite-fish, and a boneless worm walk into a bar. Nobody leaves with all their fluids.

11 weeks ago · 5 min

A flattened, leaf-shaped female Surinam toad specimen viewed from aboveA saiga antelope showing its distinctive large, downward-drooping noseA tongue-eating louse sitting inside the open mouth of a striped seabream where the tongue used to be

Surinam Toad vs Saiga Antelope vs Tongue-Eating Louse: A Back Full of Babies, a Honking Nose-Trunk, and a Bug That Becomes Your Tongue

Three animals that have absolutely nothing in common except that all three made me say out loud, in an empty room, 'no thank you.'

12 weeks ago · 5 min

A goblin shark showing its long flat snout and protrusible jawsA Chinese pangolin covered in brown keratin scalesA translucent green glass frog perched on a leaf

Goblin Shark vs Pangolin vs Glass Frog: A Slingshot Jaw, a Walking Pinecone, and a Frog You Can See Through

A deep-sea living fossil that fires its own face, an armored ant-vacuum that rolls into a ball, and an amphibian whose internal organs are a spectator sport.

13 weeks ago · 5 min

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