The archive

Every matchup, ever

28 pointless rivalries and counting.

#totally-random 28 #Mammalia 21 #deep-sea 16 #Actinopterygii 15 #Insecta 15 #cross-taxa 13 #Aves 11 #Malacostraca 7 #Amphibia 6 #Reptilia 6 #venomous 5 #champion-of-the-week 4 #Anura 3 #Arachnida 3 #Chondrichthyes 3 #Decapoda 3 #Eulipotyphla 3 #Gastropoda 3 +88 more →

A wild aye-aye clinging to a tree trunk at night, showing its large eyes, big ears, and thin fingers

A Pacific hagfish poking out of a hole on the seafloor at 150 meters depth

A velvet worm (Oroperipatus) photographed in Yasuni National Park, Ecuador, showing its soft segmented body and stubby legs

Aye-Aye vs Hagfish vs Velvet Worm: A Skeleton Finger, a Snot Bomb, and a 500-Million-Year-Old Glue Gun

One mammal, one jawless fish, one ancient invertebrate. Three completely unrelated ways to be deeply upsetting.

6 weeks ago · 5 min

A star-nosed mole showing its pink star-shaped ring of fleshy nose tentacles.

A vividly colored peacock mantis shrimp with green, red, and blue armor on a reef.

A bombardier beetle of the genus Brachinus with an orange thorax and dark blue wing covers.

Star-Nosed Mole vs Mantis Shrimp vs Bombardier Beetle: A Nose That Sees, a Fist That Boils Water, and a Butt That Shoots Boiling Acid

A blind mammal that eats faster than you can blink, a shrimp that punches at handgun speeds, and a beetle running a chemical reactor in its abdomen. Three creatures, three felonies against good taste, one winner.

6 weeks ago · 5 min

An ocean sunfish (Mola mola) swimming, showing its tall fins and truncated body

A male peacock spider displaying its colorful iridescent abdomen

Ocean Sunfish vs Peacock Spider: The Biggest Doofus in the Sea Meets a 5mm Disco Ball

A two-ton fish that looks like a head that gave up, versus a spider the size of a grain of rice that dances for its life. Scale is meaningless here.

6 weeks ago · 4 min

A goblin shark showing its long flat snout and protrusible jaws

A Chinese pangolin covered in brown keratin scales

A translucent green glass frog perched on a leaf

Goblin Shark vs Pangolin vs Glass Frog: A Slingshot Jaw, a Walking Pinecone, and a Frog You Can See Through

A deep-sea living fossil that fires its own face, an armored ant-vacuum that rolls into a ball, and an amphibian whose internal organs are a spectator sport.

7 weeks ago · 5 min